I'm a lame

Once, somebody said I would be "hot" if I weren't so "emo." (Well, it was years ago when I was thinner.)

It's strange the things that stick in one's brain... of so many more important things, why does crap like that end up sticking in one's brain?

Finally. I'm moving. Sure, it's not out of Georgia... and it won't be the oh-so glamorous Atlanta or Athens (excuse me while I roll my eyes)... but it isn't *here*. At least it is a new place that I can soon tire of just as I have with this old town.

Oh, but I must remind myself to not wait nine long years to get the hell out of said future place...

a year, huh?

I forgot I had this thing. Here's a note in progress in regard to a strange relationship...

I have been feeling that I should be keeping myself at more of a distance from you--and it isn't your fault. I want you to care like I care, and I am unsure of the way that I--that we-- act toward one another. I feel the way I act toward you is childish, insecure, and strange. It is a very strange, uncomfortable feeling to feel that caring is somehow out of place (no matter that I know it isn't). I worry too much; when you say you'll be back, I never know how much I should trust that you will -- you can't control this feeling in me, and it is not your fault. It is just a part of who you are. I can't expect you (or myself) to change. I want too much to happen, and I keep setting myself up for disappointment waiting for you to make it happen.

The thing, the main point, is that you probably would not even understand this whole stupid thing.
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and now, more randomness!
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I think (sometimes)
I'll find your
car (maybe in the news-
paper) in a ditch
maybe crammed
inside another (in
my mind)
a note appears
so sharp and ends
a rest
and a question mark
above
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Practice
makes your wallet
empty
and your retinas
burn and
then you expect
me with
some sort of
fire hose water
and tissues with
magazines
Really
what I want
is your mouth to
be silent
(resting on mine)
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